I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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