"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
