Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
