if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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