But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
