I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
