Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
