He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
