THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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