His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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