He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
