I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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