I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
