By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
