Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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