how can u be prego again
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Enjoy the penises
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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