Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I want to be your penis for a week.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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