apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
