I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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