Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize