So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize