no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
