It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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