WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
