Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
