we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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