he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
