Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
