he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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