My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
