Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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