He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
