Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize