Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
