you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
