shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
