I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
