Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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