i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
why is half of my head shaved?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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