We need to rekindle our bromance
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
