quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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