She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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