Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
