you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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