Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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