Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm jealous of your bromance
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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