who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
even my farts smell like vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
