i would punch a child for taco bell
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize