I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
