in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
