Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
