Yo dont text me then not text me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize