Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
