you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
