i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up under a house in Key West
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
