I just saw a hot homeless man
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
