i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
