Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
