How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
