You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
