Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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