you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just tell him i said nine months
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
