So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I could fuck to npr.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
