oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
